Friday, October 12, 2018

Building Bridges

Someone once accused me of burning too many bridges. Truth be told, I did burn a lot of bridges, but for very good reasons. People often look at the lives of others and assume they know what's going on. The truth is, no one really knows your reality except for you.

I recently read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. The interesting thing about this is that I was already doing most of the things the book mentioned because I had simply gotten tired of the "norm" and societal expectations. I just don't fit in with society. I've tried. I've spent my life trying. And then I realized why it wasn't working (but that's a whole other blog story). But back to bridges...it seems the older I get, the more I realize what kind of "bridges" I want in my life. Priorities have shifted, realizations have dawned, and I have simply outgrown so many things I couldn't keep up with the things and people that didn't contribute to my life. I'm sure many of you can relate.

What I find most interesting though, is that it is still hard to cut some ties. I'm not sure if this is out of comfort, emotional attachment, or some other element that I can't define. It's those moments of someone having been a friend for a long time versus whether or not they actually contribute positivity to your life. It seems people like "collecting" friends these days. I'm just not one of them. I believe people have real value and that is why having the right people in your life is so important.

This year has been full of growth in this department and there are bridges that I invested in much more than others. These are the people that I felt were truly important in my life, but also the people who invested as much into me as I was investing into them. After all, that's what it's about, right? But building bridges doesn't end with putting forth effort. It takes continuous work. Constant building. Otherwise, what's the point? So many people say they have been "busy," but the harsh reality is that people make time for who they want to make time for. Period. And if you're reaching out with little to no reciprocation, it's probably not gonna happen. At that point, do you move on or keep trying? It's not always cut and dry.

My main goal this year has been to become more authentically myself in every way - mentally, physically, spiritually. Considering I was already pretty authentic, this has been no easy feat. But it has taught me so much more about myself and other people than I thought possible. I began a journey that took me in a direction I never imagined. One that was very unexpected. I have no regrets. Naturally, with all things of this nature, bridges again must be burned or built depending on where your journey takes you.

Some things to ponder if you are looking for more depth in your journey:

  • Does your current path make you truly happy or does something feel like it's missing?
  • If you could be or do anything, what would it be? Why aren't you doing it?
  • Are you the reason that's holding you back?
  • Why can't you let go of some people/things?
  • Is social media taking up too much of your energy? 
  • Are you putting energy into things/people that don't reciprocate?
Change is scary. Taking a different path is scary. But it's necessary for growth to happen. Time to dive in.

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